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frustrations galore. lack of sleep and feeling utterly overwhelmed is just the tip of the iceburg.
such is life.
i am happy to wake up every morning.
it brings me joy to hug my puppy lucky.
the crisp morning air is refreshing and gives the promise that spring is around the corner.
i have started back working out on the treadmill ... the apartment complex has a gym for free... so i am using it to my advantage.
i am utterly sore and feel like i got hit by a truck... but i am happy because it means the hour on the treadmill worked.
i cry alot lately.... it needs to stop... but i am at a loss as to how to make that happen.
i have someone new i am quite fond of and i am cautiously hopeful he will stick around for a while because he sees me for me... i think he SEES me.... not just the funny witty remarks i toss like confetti... so i find it unnerving and fascinating.
i am constantly afraid of saying the wrong thing to 'new' people in my life because i tend to jump in too quickly. so i think i understand my puppy when he sees me open the door and he goes bugshitcrazy just for a pat on the head. i think i understand it too well indeed.
again... i cry and cant figure it out... im happy... yet the frustration of so much has me unable to keep them in. does that make any sense at all?
it is who i am. i live in extremes. my brain races so quickly that i am often left dazed and confused... yet im not a nitwit... i just cant put it all into words as there is just too much going on in there.
i want the utter release of giving ALL of myself to someone. like dumping gatorade onto someone at the end of a game well won.... here... have it all dammit... and dont it feel just fricken awesome.
its like love vomit.... here i love you..... BLECH... southpark lives forever in me.
im so tired of being told i am fabulous, but it isnt enough. can we just take the 'but' out? just once?
i need the warmth of the sunlight... the hot wind whispering my name... with the grains of a few thousand years under my feet.
peace
serenity
simplicity
love
these are what matter most.
mainly ive been innundated at work and simply dont get out much.
i do make time on fridays to get the fuck out though. i cant stand the idea of wasting a weekend after working a bazzillion hours. just seems sacraligious or somethingerother.
today it seems all the world is in a panic because we expect snow.
i personally love snow
i love to drive in snow
i love that fresh white blanket and the quiet of the world
i love that you can hear the trees as they moan with the weight of it all
i love how nature creates her own crystal decorations drizzled along branches....
i have an insane love of every season.... there is something magical in the change from one to the next.
ive always been fascinated by the simplicity of the sky. how every single moment a new painting has been created just by the movement of clouds.
you can get lost in details of shadows as they cross a hardwood floor
or the smell of a wood stove on a crisp fall day
the sound of leaves as they fall gently on the breezes
the gentle lapping of the ocean on a hot summer day
the smell of salt on the air
i suppose this makes me a tree hugger.... so be it.
i enjoy the wisdom in the eyes of polar bears.... and the breif moment of peace when a squirrel is caught lounging in a tree.
life is a gift.
i think i may have found someone to share it with... maybe... time will tell... but so far he is different from the rest... and i am happy about that.
a man of few words, but the lights are ON and someone IS home... very nice.
and he seems to like my neurotic ways... so i guess there might be hope for me yet.
if it does turn into a r_ _ _ _ i_ _ s_ _ p it would be a miracle. it would also be only my second REAL dive into that world. most of the others have just been fly by night one date wonders. such is life.
and no, i dont dare say the R word.... not yet.
at this point i feel like those baseball players that dont change sox for an entire winning streak.... but then again... i change mine ... and often. i also shower regularly. hmmm... guess im screwed.
i can only hope that the Gods have finally smiled on me.
so for now... i just enjoy the moments i am given. the tiny glimpses of what could be... and to fill the space between you can find me catching snowflakes....
Shes starting to smile more too. That is a bonus. I missed that smile. She always had this underlying frown. The stress she was under at the job was slowly stealing her good humor and replacing it with bitter anger and disappointment. Im glad to see it didn’t succeed after all.
I helped clean the garage after I tossed out dinner….. The steaks were apparently on the way out so they tasted pretty bad…. Blech. Needless to say, I lost my appetite.
I downloaded tons of photos. I had 513 pictures on my camera from July thru October. Just a few huh? eek. Typical me. And THAT is with me trying to be conservative and NOT take too many pictures!!! Holy cow!
I plunked a bunch onto my facebook page. Im a happy camper. I felt like I actually accomplished something for once.
This morning I woke up to a light misting rain.
I smacked the snooze a few times. Was desperate to ignore it all together, but eventually moved at 6:20…. Agh. I usually move by 5:55…. But today I was slow.
So that gave me exactly 15 minutes to get ready and get out.
I made it in 20. I got my shower, washed the hair, brushed the teeth, de-forested the legs, squooshed some conditioner into the doo, got dressed and ran downstairs.
Blinked my car into life with the remote as I tossed a bagel into my bag with the last of the OJ in the fridge. Flew out the door and got on the road.
Got to work by 7:02, hair still stringy and damp (my usual look) and blindly made way to the elevators. It dries fairly nicely with the perm so I’m all cute with curls by the time anyone actually notices.
Im pretty much a working zombie until about 11 am. That’s when I generally wake up and I’m actually AWARE of my surroundings.
Ive been updating trackers all morning. In between, when I hit save, I write this lil note. It takes a long time for the trackers to save, so I type this so I am not falling asleep just waiting. Its like watching paint dry. I cant just sit there and do nothing.
Ive organized everything on the desk… so I’m left with typing this to keep busy and awake.
I love my job. It keeps me pretty busy all day and I learn a lot about new therapies n such. Very cool indeed. I hope to stay here at least 2-5 years minimum. Great benefits, awesome work crew and really really great managers. We have lots of 1 on 1’s and stuff… lots of trackers….. so you cant blow stuff off… everyone is responsible for their part of the bargain. I think it works quite well and when someone isn’t pulling their end of the deal, resourcing is available. Ahhh…
I also find its not a typical thankless job. People do actually care and its noticed when you do well. Gives everyone incentive to do better.
I have a meeting that starts in 45 min…. hmmm….
Oh… in other news, it seems the pink hair is a nice touch. Ive been stopped in the hallways and wherever I go from people who say they absolutely love the doo. Funny cuz most of these people I’ve never met before.
I think soon, I will need to re-do the perm. I think for the most part, its had it. The curls are no longer as apt to stay in if I don’t do some major floofing in the morning. Even then, they kinda flop a bit. I don’t really plan on letting it go straight again either…… so I will need to plan for a new perm soon. I don’t look as cute with the hair all flat. Its pretty… but it is also a lifeless mess that takes some major work just to look decent. Who would think straight hair would be a pain in the butt? Im thinking, week after Thanksgiving I will go have it done. That way it looks good for the xmas party when I have everyone over.
I cant wait for xmas! I loved cooking for everyone last year. It was a hit!
Lots of people asked me if I would do it again and make it a tradition….. Well YA!!! I love cooking and its great that everyone loved my food! WEEE!!!!
I think this year, I will make the spiral ham, lasagna, and the sweet n sour chicken again… but I will add roasted garlic potatoes and maybe broccoli casserole too. May have to do a spinach bread bowl too. That is sooooo good for those of us who like the green stuff.
I might make a desert too… but I usually let people bring that. I figure, I take care of the real food, other people can bring the deserts. Ya know?
Gonna have to pick a date soon too…. Hmmm…
December 20th is my work xmas party….. so I guess its either gonna be the 13th or the 27th…. Decisions decisions…..
There are moments however, that I do find I need to slow down a bit and laze the day away.
Friday I dragged Angie with me. I determined that she wasn’t allowed to go home and just miss out on a perfectly good Friday night. Nope.. so I brought her with me to the Solomon Pond Mall to meet up with my friend Laura and have dinner at Fridays. Ah yes… indeed… it was mucho fun for all. Afterwards, I spent some time in the mall and decided to dye the doo pink. No I have no explanations at this time. I simply decided I wanted to do it and so I got some manic panic hair dye.
I also got some cool Nightmare Before Christmas earings n stuff.
Saturday morning, got up and informed mumsy she needed to help me dye the doo.
She was less than enthusiastic, but complied nonetheless. It seems that after so many long years, she has come to the realization that resistance is futile… therefore after much procrastination… she helped with the transformation.
I only dyed the bottom tips pink. Not my whole head. Some of you will prolly think I lost my mind… that any pink is too much… but sigh… I figured, if nothing else, it can be covered up with brown again.
My hair already had this weird two tone thing happening anyways. Top dark brown and then fading away to brassy blonde at the bottom. Quite a drastic transition too.
So I didn’t have to go bleaching my hair to add color…. It was already bleachie blonde. Au Naturale indeed. I didn’t do anything to make my hair that way….. it just has a mind of its own.
So for whatever reason.. I thought hot raspberry pink would look fabulous. Where I got this inspiration one may never know… but it happened … and well… life goes on. Hehehe
I then traveled to my friends Scott n Meg’s house. I babysit Ashleigh Page, the adorable two year old babbling little girl…….. and Yukon, the 9 year old yellow lab.
Mumsy came with me as I did plan to go out later that night… after I put Ashleigh to bed of course.
Ashleigh is a ball of fun. I love her dearly. Snuggles and hugs just make my heart sing. She approved of the pink hair. Hehehe… Scott n Meg made the assumption it was Halloween induced insanity… I say, whatever it takes to make you accept the weirdness that is me, go with it…. And be happy.
Generally, I am about as boring as they come….. lol…. Ok ok… so I’m a wacko.. but most people who meet me don’t generally spot that until its too late and they are dragged kicking and screaming into lifelong friendship. Ahhh… They never know what hit them……
I clean up nicely… so one never suspects that I am an artsie fartsie foofoo girl until much later. I tend to be polite and well mannered. People have me babysit their children and pooches… Then one day I walk in with pink hair… such is life
Its all good. Its hair color… its not like it changes the person. And if my boss freaks out when he sees it, I will be good and get it back to brown. No biggie.
Ashleigh was fabulous and went to bed without a fuss. Totally a bonus I tell ya. No screaming or whining this time… just went to bed… I rocked her for a while in my arms… then placed her in bed… she shifted around quite a bit… till I started rocking the crib…. Then she fell asleep without a peep…
Yukon was great.. he didn’t bark after I put her to bed… so she slept well…
I hear she asked for ‘auntie jenny’ the next morning…. Awww… I am SUCH a mush for that stuff.
I left mumsy around 9:30pm ish to watch the house and Yukon till Scott n Meg came home.
I picked up Angie.. and we went out for a night of dancing. It was fun mostly due to the brawl that broke out. You know that chicks mean business when they take off their hair and accessories…. Whoa! Angie and I moved away and just watched from afar as the cop on duty tried to handle the women involved.
I was amused.
After ‘dancing’ (aka sweating up a storm cuz I think the AC was dead) we headed to IHop at 1 am. Hehehe… Yum!
Munchies were fabulous… until it seemed like a busload of potheads crowded in…. we left shortly thereafter.
I was home and in bed by 3am after dropping off Angie.
Sunday… I had the place spiffy and ready for Pumpkin Carving 2008.
Andrea, Angie, and Sarah joined mumsy and I.
We had a blast and I think carving went quite well.
I will be sending out photos of the Pumpkins soon so you can see our accomplishments :)
I crashed by 8:30 and went to bed. 5:30am came much too quickly and I am still working to shake off the grogginess.
Alas… it was a great weekend.
This morning I got a fabulous email reminding me of Last Sunday’s bliss…. Woo hoo… happiness abounds… I am cautiously ecstatic lol….
I think I have written enough for the moment…. And I shall leave you with that… Weee! Jenny does the snoopy dance!
I shall now go heat up the chicken soup I made last week…. It came out awesome… I am so proud of myself! I made chicken soup for the first time and it is Edible!!! (ok, so I cook all the time, so I guess it isn’t a big deal… but I don’t care lol)
Toodles people! Hugs n love
Talk to ya soonish…
The Jenmeister.
- Mood:
content
i seem to be lacking sleep quite significantly these days. yet, when i go to bed, i am restless and cant quite settle down until quite late at night.
i had a recurring theme dream last night... once again i was back in a highschool situation... yet as usual, i seemed to be at a loss for where my classes were and wander aimlessly trying to get to class on time. weird. that constant unprepared and lost feeling. i hate that.
i did manage to get moving though. i did my usual routine... shower, brush teeth, click my car starter through the blinds to warm up the rav while i get dressed.
one addition to the morning routine.... i bought bagels last night at dunks. ginormously expensive i have discovered. i used to pay about 7 bux at Einsteins.... whoa... i paid over 13 last night for a dozen. wtf? painful.... yet Einsteins was closed and i wasnt about to drive out there this morning..... so pay i did.
it was nice not having to pay for breakfast...
grabbed some OJ as i left the house... took my toasted bagel and happily munched it a bit as i drove.
nice having a car starter now. i have been getting into the routine of startin the wannabetruck in the mornings as i get ready so that i will not forget to start doing so in the winter. its the first time i have had the luxury of a starter.. so i am getting used to it. its quite nice actually. ahhh...
the morning chill that greeted me on the way out the door was not welcomed. it only enforced my brains idea of running back to the bed and snuggling under blankies.
got to work early.... as usual, i am the first one here.
i get in around 7 ish daily.
most people dont start trickling in until about 8ish.
i kinda like it that way... i like the quiet. it allows me to 'look alive' by the time people arrive. i used to think i was a morning person simply cuz i cant seem to sleep in.... or used to have that issue..... now i know differently. since my throat surgery (popped out my tonsils, adnoids, and opened my airway... which is still quite tiny)... i find i sleep now.... i dream. things i never did before. so i hug that pillow in the morning.... i reluctantly get up for work.
i only go in so early cuz i hate the idea of working till 5. by that time, the day seems wasted.... if i get out at 3... that means i still have some time to get something done before i have to cook dinner and get ready for bed.
i have a seed or sumthin stuck in my gum.... owie... dammit all... ive flossed 3 times this morning and it still wont budge... grrr... dontcha hate that? ahh... but i digress
last wednesday..... i was snuggled on a bed, barely covered by a sheet... windows wide open with an ocean breeze flowing in.
i had driven 10 out of 13 hours down to NC... the outer banks in Corrolla. A and S were with me for the drive.
A's parents had invited us down to a beach house they rented. driving was cheaper than flying and less inconvenient for everyone else... so we drove.
wasnt bad really. just NY and NJ i found frustrating.
Wednesday we spent on the beach between naps. it was cloudy but warm as i picked shells off the sand.
thursday was hot and sunny. unfortunately, i was informed that morning that mumsy had been 'laid off'. ya... 21 years at the company and they pulled the rug out from under her. not that we didnt expect it... but it does throw a wrench into the works. i was hoping to move out by next summer..... something she isnt happy about at all. but such is life. i reluctantly moved back home after losing my condo in a flood (that and the liver tumor did a number on me... but im not dead yet! woo hoo!).
i took a walk on the beach alone... borrowed the family dog bubba for company... and just walked. it was windy, raw, and the waves pounded the shore with anger. at some point along the way, i sat on the beach and just cried. i bawled my eyes out as bubba licked away the tears.
i think i cried more for my loss of freedom than anything else. mumsy will be fine in the long run... me... not so much.
selfish? ya... i think so... im not generally like that... but the idea that im stuck now doesnt exactly make me all warm and fuzzy.
mumsy needs my income more than ever now..... so such is life. i cant do anything for the moment. i wish for my freedom, but i know it will be some time before i get it.
she is quite uncompromising on the pet issue still as well.... sigh. i want a dog. will i get one? no... but uh... ya... im 35 now and still have to ask permission. need i explain more as to why i am losing my mind? oh yes... moving out will do me a world of good.
does this mean mumsy isnt a good person? no. it just means i need to get the heck out and soon. she will take it as an insult.
she did when i moved out before.
she will be insulted once again.
such is life.... i need one. therefore, i still plan to sock away as much as i can to attain that. wont be easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is.
drove home on Saturday..... couldnt have asked for better road trip buddies. A and S are fabulous friends. i am a very lucky girl indeed.
i havent been myself these days. trying to shake it off. need to grab hold of some happy thoughtages and work with it. .... speaking of which... Sunday night was bliss. definitely something i wont ever forget. happy thoughts indeed.
nice... thinking about it i find myself grinning like a fool... who cares. it was a gift of happiness and i am holding onto it. life is short... i will keep this memory close... take it out, shine it, smile brightly, and tuck it back for safe keeping.
when all else fails and it seems like the shit hit the fan..... its these happy moments i hold onto that get me through.
no i dont plan to explain any further... so sorry for you... but i shall go back to smiling now.... so no worries....
:: grin ::
by this time next year..... i will be chattering on about a new puppy and a new home. anything above and beyond will be icing on the cake.... ahh... i think its attainable...... dont you? .... :)
- Mood:
thoughtful
(insert scary music here)
you see... i found tonight, there are worse things than being single. Hell yes.... whoa...
i recently put my ad on craigs list in hopes of finding looove... ahhh... lord knows ive been told a gazillion times 'why arent you married?' "you have an awesome personality" blah blah blah...
awesome personality... isnt that the same as "she is dog ugly man.... i am SO sorry but she was the only one available to go out wit you... "
whatever..... that hasnt stopped me yet..... lmao..... course sometimes you have to feel bad for the bastid... but i digress....
ok.. so yesterday i talked to Steve. Nice guy.... had a brain.... seemed to have a good sense of humor. whole nine yards..
so we chatted... he eventually asked if i was free the next night. i said sure. so the 'date' was on.
today rolls around. he had said he would contact me in the morning to confirm things......
time went by... nothin.
tick...... tick........ tick....
figuring it was the usual drill of cold feet ..... i decided to email him and let the guy off the hook.
i get a call an hour later... nope.. date is definitely on! Alrighty then... i got a live one
i get to the restaraunt (Polcaris) and i'm a tad early... so i let the greeter know i am waiting for a friend.
thankfully they had a TV.... it was going to be a wait.
i only knew he was Tall..... 6'4", brown hair, brown eyes... i never did get a photo.
that was my first mistake.
my second mistake was thinking the gods had pitty on me and somehow decided to give me something better than a lifetime supply of batteries.....
sunofabbbbbbbbbb?
35 minutes after 5pm ....... i notice someone, apparently a human, walking towards the building..... my brain screams in horror... nooooooo.. oh fuckers..... dammit dammit dammit
no where to go
TRAPPED....... he saw me through the windows......... did my horror show on my face? ahhh shit.....
frozen in place..... wishing i had ordered the chicken parm to go and split before it hit...
and there it..... er...... He was......
yup..... 6'4"...... did have brown hair and eyes.... but so do most sasquatch i think.
holy moly..... i mustve been a brutal puppy stompin biotch in a past life! i am kind to the elderly and i give money to charity.... aghhh!!!
WHYYYYYYYY! Calgon! Take me away!!!
dude is built like a Mac Truck. or as a friend described... an egg on stilts. like those MnM guys... no neck... just a giant blob of meat with arms and legs.
something (im thinkin psoriasis, or some kind of creepin crud i dont wanna know about) was growing on his arms...
one giant unibrow....... and what a brow it was.
im thinkin Andre the Giant? naaaww..... i thought he was dead?
this dude wasnt dead and since i have a photo on my ads....... knew who i was....... oh the drama..... why cant i just die? must i be tortured like this?
i was good..... i need an Oscar. I smiled sweetly and shook his massive frying pan sized hand.
i actually felt ........ dare i say it?............. petite!!
his voice is actually quite decieving.... sounds very sweet and normal... its just the imagery that comes with the voice that completely makes you think you have a sudden brain tumor and you must be seeing things.
i asked for a table..... still healing from the recent surgery and cant stand to sit too close to anything... i also was thinking.... we need some serious space...
we sat at the table and wouldnt you know it..... now i know that life is using me as its own personal voodoo doll... just poke me in the eyeballs would ya? could you NOT make this more painful than it has to be?
the waiter is frikken drop dead GORGEOUS.
yes....... and he smells good toooooooooooooooo.
pisser. how the fuck do i pretend not to drool over the hunk o man when i have the ginormous sasquatch watching my every move and ..... gulp..... oggling me........... NOoooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!
why did i decide to shower?
why did i decide to pluck the brows and shave the legs?
what was i thinking?
looking cute shouldve been the farthest thing from my mind! my god people... are you with me on this? God Hates ME!!!!
i did my best to shake it off. Beastie seemed to be genuinely sweet.... yet i couldnt help wondering about the shrooms growin on his arms and if it was catchy.
i sipped the diet coke...... too bad they dont use real coke in it anymore..... i couldve used some.
i barely ate dinner. for some odd reason.... every time i thought of how i would escape without being ::shudder:: touched..... i realized i was totally... undeniably... and so NOT in a good way...... SCREWED.
i chatted endlessly.... letting my garlicy angel hair pasta marinate while my tummy churned...
the waiter was funny...... and cute....... oh and my gawd.... what the hell was he wearing for cologne? holy crap.. if i wasnt sitting in a chair i wouldve found myself crawling on the floor towards him... bwahahahaa.... i wish
nooooooo i had to act all uninterested as i was sitting with a nice young man who was unfortunate enough to have been struck multiple times with the ugly stick.
he was kind enough to pay for dinner..... whoa..... impressive... but no, not enough to make me all wooshie... im single, not desperate.... lest youve forgotten ....
after some chit chat... i couldnt take the long awkward pause any longer and stood up....
we made our way to my car......
and
it
happened.
the long look....... the tip of the head........ the tilt towards........... GASP..... he kissed me!
my brain took a vacation.
i lost all presence of mind........ and backed up.
he got in his peck.... but ack...... patooie! no no nononononononono make it stop!
stupid car was too close....... again... i was TRAPPED! no where to run to.... no place to hide....... and then the final nail on the coffin............
it hit me.
it? oh yes.......... IT.
the SSBD
look it up people....... if you dont know what it is... youve lived life on the edge and have been lucky enough not to be hit with it.
the silent but deadly. yes, there are many types of farts in this world..... but none that match the power and the intensity of a sasquatch SBD.
the SSBD.
like an invisible cloud that had talons of steel........ it latched on and permiated the air.
only hurricane force winds couldve saved me
it had me in its grasp..... i sputtered.... the eyes began to water... i dont know what he was saying..... but i was nodding furiously hoping for an escape.
for all i know i just agreed to marriage..... please God... dont you think ive suffered enough?.......
i got in the car...... and took a breath.
it....... came........... WITH ........ MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
cough.... sputter....... i felt dinner rising ..... a churning...... blub blub blub.......
i hit the button...... praying for fresh air....... but AGH!!! i hadnt moved the car yet and it was still outside too!!
GAWD!! he had Ravioli for dinner! wtf was IN those little packets of yum? hello? what on gods green earth died and crawled up his ass ... choosing this moment in time to release its power?
i hit the gas.......
breathing was not an option.
i shoved tissues up my nose.... whos sexy now....... and drove out. i hit that highway and prayed for salvation!
i could still smell it
that sucker lingered for nearly 10 WHOLE minutes!
i kept trying to close the windows and pull the plugs from my nose only to be driven back screaming for mercy.
i think i should give up.
i am obviously destined for the single life.... this was an OBVIOUS sign. if it wasnt..... i dont care. i shall take my offended nasal passages and breathe a sigh of relief.
oh.. and i have decided on my next tattoo... it shall be on my forehead...... it will read ...... "GET A PHOTO FIRST YOU MORON!"
- Mood:horrified
This year I am spending some quality time in Boston for the 4th.
for those in the Boston Area for the 4th...
PS…. IMPORTANT INFO FOR CRAZY PEOPLE WHO LIKE SUNBURNS, MOSQUITOS AND PORTA-POTTIES…..You KNOW that’s YOU!!!
Me and some of my shmoopie friends shall be spending July 4th along the waters of the Charles.
If you are among the ones who would like to join us….. feel free.
Directions:
One hint…… look for the big giant head….. we are to the right. I will have a blue tent with me…..
We shall spend the day there…. Join us anytime. I sit along the water, not in front of the hatch shell……. Why? Cuz isn’t the whole point to have a good view of the FIREWORKS??? Not the stupid tubas? Yes… so that’s why. I like the fireworks…. I shall arrive before 9am….. spend the whole freakin day soakin up the sun and burning to a crisp just to see one hour of fireworks. Go figure.
I plan to park the blanket along the banks of the Charles river…… read my books.. and enjoy some snooze time.
As long as one person is parked on the blanket……. Everyone else is free to browse along Boston and enjoy the day.
If you take the T, get off at the MGH stop from the Red Line. Take a left out of the train, go down the stairs…… and walk along the water towards the Hatch.
I don’t sit in front of the Hatch Shell cuz its too crowded and you cant see the fireworks….. so I sit further away, down along the water. Better view and you can still hear the band cuz they have speakers set up everywhere. Its also closer to the porta potties for those who cant hold their water.
PS… the Fiedler Statue….. that’s the big giant head.
By the way…….. I suggest that if you want food or drinks, BRING em….. due to the fact I am not related to Bill Gates, I cant afford to feed everyone. So you are on your own for the foodage. Ok? love ya!
- Mood:
excited
reaaaaaaaaaad it.......
order your copy NOW!!!
and i quote:
Everyone who preorders the hardcover edition of BRINE will be entered into a drawing to win some of the author's personal selection of weird prizes.
Ordering details: http://www.creativeguypublishing.co
Prize details: http://ajjones.livejournal.com/299242.h
im just super...... how are you?
Ok, so tomorrow is D day………. Or T day? I get my tonsils out.
I am sooooo not thrilled as I do not like pain. I can handle it, but I am sooooo not one who goes for it.
I will be out for six days……….. from work anyways……….. 8 days total if you count the weekend in da middle of it all.
I figure, I will drive mumsy and I in…….. I plan to dope her up with lots of zanax to have her nice and goofy when I drive us. She is stressing out and will most likely need to stock up on more hair coloring due to this.
I think I account for most of her gray hairs. My sister accounts for the bald spots…….. BWAHAHHAHAHAHAA!!!
Cough, cough…… just kidding……. Er……… ya….. lol…….. giggles
But I digress….. I can see it now……. Drivin down 93, mumsy holding fast to the NoSh!tGrip while I zoom down the road….. occasionally pressing the invisible break on her side and doing that inhaled scream…… you know the one……… when you are driving and someone feels like you aren’t aware that someone else is driving stupid….. and they don’t want to ‘alarm you’ so they do that suckinair thing and have that wild eyed freaked out look……meanwhile you the driver think you missed a ginormous plane about to land or something by the way they jumped up….. but nooooo it was a just a squirrel.
Yes……. Its bound to happen….. why? Oh well because we are going to the dreaded BOSTON of course.
See, that’s the evil place in the mind of mumsy… she hears Drive Into Boston and she suddenly gets the cold sweats and needs to pee or something…….. just the thought and she is having palpitations.
Sometimes I think it’s the fact that I don’t react in the way she would…. I dunno…… but I learned to drive in Boston so I am more or less used to a gazillion wackos on the road. I don’t get rattled if someone goes into the right hand lane to take a left…….. its just how its done…… I mean…… we are in Massachusetts ya know. Duh.
And yes, I admit I have road rage…… it doesn’t happen often, but it burns my bunns when someone doesn’t thank me when I was nice enough to let them go. I get all kinds of p!ssy-a$$ed and annoyed. Once that happens, everyone on the road is on my sh!tlist. I will drive past people who want to cross or take a turn….. and think…….. I don’t think so buddy….. bwahahahaahaaaaaaa!!! Evil Jenny comes for a visit…. Lol… ooooh! And how bout when you let someone go and they give you the finger? Oh that one just makes my heart tingle with joy as I plot their death. @:)
So I am sure tomorrow, with lots of gasps and AAAAAAAAAH!!!’s, we will arrive insanely early at Mass Eye and Ear. Surgery is at 7:30am…… we are to be there by 6……. So I am sure we will arrive by 4:30 am. I will of course be irritable at the smells of coffee since I wont be allowed any……… and since I usually have a glass of buzz every day……. I will be sure to have a nice slamming migraine by noon.
Thrilling.
Since I haven’t been allowed any meds for my migraines in recent days (due to the surgery) I have been having fun with sparkling lights and black spots. (they are just from the migraines and don’t really exist…… or so I am told). I have been chugging diet coke for the caffeine to try to get rid of the one I have had for the past 3 days too. I hope for some good drugs. Hahahaa
I shouldn’t be nervous…… considering I had a football of a tumor removed (after it blew up and I lost 4 pints or so of blood that is) two years ago and lived….. no biggie…… right? Its Not a Tumah…. Thhhhhhhhbt. Uh….ya, that doesn’t make me feel any better.
And don’t you love it when I doctor says, I don’t want to scare you but………….. ! but what. Whats up with that? Huh? I thought you weren’t trying to scare me you crazy boob. Ugh.
Ya, theres that lil thing of bleeeeeeeeeding…….. and lots of it.
Me no like it.
Course it DOES give you that milkie white skin tone!!! Woo hoo! Lets hear it for lookin like a zombie! Weee!
I am thinking positive (and it shows right?) and figure all will be well in the world of Jenny from da block. I will lay back, sip on Gatorade slushies and watch animal planet while mumsy enjoys some much needed silence hahahaa….
Feel free to stop by with some Ben n Jerry’s ok? thank you so much…. Hehehee….
So do your best to enjoy the silence that settles in while I am gone……… remember…. It wont last….. I spent years being the silent one who never spoke…….. till I met my friend Rue and I was forced to speak. Ahhahaa…. Who knew? Now you cant shut me up! I am the one who lingers there, at the end of a conversation, and keeps chatting…… as I watch you step away……. And still I cant shut up…..
I will be like my nana….. she would say bye….. but would continue talking as we would go down the stairs… it would literally take us about 2 hours to go down two flights of stairs….. bwahahaha! I have aspirations I tell ya!!!
Ok ok.. enough about me….. ( I say that in jest, as we know…….. its all about me)……… I will chat with you soon.
My email at home is paintsplotch@hotmail.com
Toodles for now!!!
At this point I have a lot of sh!t that still needs to find a home…… I will be spending lots of time organizing all the stuff under the desk currently to clean it allllllllllllllllll out and have it all put away like it should be.
I didn’t get it all done in the 1 week timeframe mumsy wanted…….. but I got sick with a nasty stomach bug so I wasn’t great for about a week……… so I did a lot this weekend.
- Mood:
accomplished
I have now been officially sworn in as an employee of PAREXEL. Woo hoo! Had dinner with the girls from Aerotek last night……. Fabulous!
I am about ½ way through the demolition and rebuilding of my craft room.
All furniture has been removed and I have built in the desk.
I have decided that the desk will take a left turn along the window wall to allow me more space for my computer and the accessories for it. (scanner and printer). I attached my doodle for you to check out. Maybe you will understand it….. maybe not……. I get it…… lol……. And its all about me hahaha
Anyways……. Life is gooooood. Got a great job, with a raise and clean bathrooms….. priorities my friends!
Course…… mumsy has given me a timeline of one week maximum to finish COMPLETELY the craft room.
So far the back wall is done…. Peg board is up…… table is installed with extra supports for the just in case factor. God forbid I lean on the table and it decides it doesn’t like that extra roll or two I have….. snap! And jenny has to rebuild? I don’t think so peoples. I like to do it right (or a close facsimile of) the first time.
Tonight, another trip to home depot to get one more slab of the table top to install the table on the left in front of the window creating an L shaped desk. What fun that the saw at the HD isn’t working so I have the pleasure of hand sawing the table tops myself. Mumsy was kind enough to sit on the wood while I sawed it so it would stop wiggling too. And then………. After allllll of that…… the damned thing was ever so slightly too long…… what a pissoff. So I got out the hand sander and went to town. If I had the table saw, it would’ve been easier, just a swoop and off…… but that’s still locked in my dad’s old tool chest……. The one mumsy swore eventually she would find the keys for….. and oh, 4 years later, we still don’t have those keys. So I told her I will either take out my frustrations and grab a crowbar and destroy the thing (which I doubt will be possible) or just very logically call the locksmith to rekey it. Lol…… I think the second option works better…… don’t you?
I will need to destroy….. er…. Disassemble the shelving unit from its current location and place the two halves in front of the windows and put a slab on those to create a separate work area….. with the light box on that for easier access.
I have made quite a bit of progress so I am pretty damned proud of myself lol.
A lot of stuff cant be ‘put away’ tho until I receive my packages in the mail.
Bought some stuff for organizing my stacks of craft papers….. all sorts of stuff to put crapola away.
Lord knows I have A LOT of crapola that needs a home.
In the process I am sure I will also do a lot of tossing. Fact is I have lots of stuff laying around since I save everything……. That’s the problem with crafts….. ooh lets keep this teenie tiny piece of stuff cuz you never know when you might need it for another project!!!
Ya……. So you end up with HEAPS of odds n ends that really have no home…….. so buh bye to little heaps that become big heaps.
I prolly shoulda taken a before picture. But I was (am) too embarrassed at the hurricane of kaka that my room has become. Thankfully its in the basement………… but then again……. That’s how people enter our humble abode so understandably mumsy is LESS than thrilled at the bomb that hit (named jenny). Course, then again……. She WANTED me to move back home. Awww……. She is obviously braindead cuz she missed me and wanted me and my craft supplies back……. Aint that cute? She LOVES ME!!! Ahahahaha…. Course she does… I got her the handicapped plate so she gets the primo spots for parkin at Christmas by the mall. Duh… priorities~!
Funny how I know I will have all this additional workspace ……. And I betcha any money I will still end up workin in a cleared spot about the size of a postage stamp. I am making a grand effort tho! So kudos for that to moi!
See I think the main problem is this……….. I do too much. I make clocks, do stained glass, paint watercolors, fix photos, create peoples scrapbooks for them (I sell them…… they add the photos to the finished album), make cards, blah blah blah blah blah……… in the end, (oh ya, I make jewelry, quilt, and crochet too) I end up with a TON of supplies….. all being used…… and since I am an ADD special, I tend to do multiple projects at the same time.
Yah….. im a freak…… but a very creative and handy freak at that!
Did I mention I cook too? How else did I arrive at such a curvaceous bod? Lol…… all comes in handy tho… as demonstrated last night, the girls make a great place to stash stuff when you lack extra hands. No instant replays on that one and no, I don’t plan to explain it any further than that either. Use your imagination, its prolly a lot funnier.
Ok… on that note…….. nature is calling……. I will write you again if I have any updates…….. and oh I am sure I will…. And if not……. I will make something up……… you wont know the difference, so smile and nod hahahaa…
nothin new really.
life has been comfortably uneventful.
no unwanted drama going on... thats always a bonus.
my sinus infection isnt raging as badly now...... so my ears no longer have the sensation of melting.
my throat is still pretty sore though, despite the antibiotics. so i take ibuprofen and hope for the best.
miss emily, now at the ripe old age of four, had her first balet debut this weekend. she was adorable.
she didnt really dance per se...... more or less just stood, hanging tightly to her teddy bear and looking around.
i think perhaps she was a bit overwhelmed.... it was a three hour dance show...... older kids did most of the dances and the little ones were pranced out here and there to break up the routines.....
i very much enjoyed the entire show. some left during intermission, but mumsy and i stayed for the entire thing.
i thought the dance routines were fabulous. i admit i am a bit reserved as i enjoyed the Braintree dance team for many years........ but this was a very tight second. bravo!
miss emily was quite impressed momentarily, as children tend to be, when we presented her with a balarina teddy bear fairy and a lollipop bouquet (shaped like flowers and presented in a wrapped celophane baggie - each lollie on a long stemmed plastic rod so it looks like a true bouquet of 'flowers') .... she was quite pleased for all of 1 minute and quickly bounded off to other interests.....
children are funny as they sometimes seem so uninterested in the things we spent so long to get for them...... lol....... so much thought and concern and love goes into the gift, that once unwrapped is often left forgotten while they go off and enjoy the experience of just being a child....... carefree and confident that they are loved...... knowing we will be there to kiss the boo boos and frighten away the monsters in the closet.
in other news, i am still on more dating sites than i know what to do with, but having little luck. such is life. have some hope for a couple that showed some interest in me........ looking forward to seeing where it might lead...... who knows..... i may actually get a date! who woulda thunk it!
i saw my best friend michelle on sunday....... its been forever it seems. from seeing eachother virtually every weekend and often multiple times during the week as well.......... down to sporatically once or twice a year......... such a dramatic shift.
mumsy and i gave her all my dishware, glassware, and much of my cooking utensils as well for her new home she bought with her man. i dont need them anymore as i no longer have my own place.... so we gave them to them as they are due to be married in 2008. technically they have been married for about 5 months, but that was due to the need for health insurance and was kept fairly quiet. the actual wedding isnt for another year and a half - ish.
we gave her new canister sets and new bake ware.......... new cookie sheets and measuring cups...... lots of gifties. she was thrilled. most everything we bought was white or stainless steel so as not to clash with whatever she choses for a theme in her kitchen.
there is the hope that we can spend more time together once she moves to the new home in NH...... we shall see .... i do hope so.... she has been missed very much.
- Mood:
mellow
the air is light and warm on my skin
a breathe of air that warms me within
i close my eyes to wrap myself in this feeling
a lovers embrace that leaves me reeling
i take you in and feel anew
moments alone like this they are so few
you take my hair and gently brush it from my face
i feel your heat touch me; my contours you trace
you leave your mark on me for all to see
unseen by all, yes everywhere, there you will be
delicately opening petals that yearn for your touch
fleeting the time we have, i know this much
i have been litterally in bed for the last couple days.
havent eaten anything but a can of soup and crackers...... a few glasses of OJ and that be it.
feel like poop.
oh well.......
still dont have a voice either. i had a friend call........ i felt like i must sound as if my cel phone isnt workin cuz my voice cuts in and out..... like a bad connection...... lol..... hurts to laugh.... ow! oh well..... i got away without bein sick most of this winter.... so i guess im pretty lucky!
